12/14/2023 0 Comments Frigid father eldest souls![]() She became not just irritable or snappy but confrontational and aggressive. Then she started HRT and it was as if there was a completely negative downward spiral in character. She became distant, less interested in our home and the intimacy in our marriage waned until it almost completely disappeared. Whilst she had always had many different balls in the air and a whole series of activities on the go with friends, family and at our daughter’s school, some were dropped quite suddenly. She threw herself into her work and started to spend more time away. After three rounds of IVF treatment, we decided enough was enough.Įverything started to accelerate some years later when my ex was in her late thirties. ![]() This was a shock and we both entered a period of mourning for the large family we couldn’t have, despite being gifted a beautiful daughter and a new life to look forward to. Early menopause had arrived really early. We married in our twenties and our daughter arrived three years later, but she was to be our first and last because although the birth went well, we were told that she couldn’t have any more children due to low ‘FSH’. My moods could be lower and people remarked how we seemed to balance each other out in many ways. At times she was so effervescent it was hard to calm her down! The attraction was instant. The girl I knew was full of energy, always rushing around with many activities going, enjoyed with a very wide group of friends. At the time I had no ability to fully understand what was going on, how to help or what to do about it. I say it was ‘our’ struggle because it was. Whilst it’s true that there were other life challenges to contend with, like losing a parent and not being able to have more children, there is no doubt in my mind that our struggle to deal with menopause was ultimately what destroyed everything. It may sound to some that I am blaming the menopause outright all too quickly for my divorce. It has enabled me to see what happened to my marriage.Īnd early menopause was the trigger – it impacted everything. Time has been a great healer for me and our daughter, now in her early twenties. I thought ‘the others’ must have drifted apart or simply that they did not have similar values to mine. Like many people, I imagined divorced couples to be the kind of people I wasn’t or could never be. Without question, my marriage breakdown was the single most painful period of my life and it has taken many years to rebuild. Get advice, talk to us or other experienced menopause/relationship counsellor – Kathryn Colas You may recognise a similar situation in your own relationship. ![]() I invite you to read ‘Paul’s’ story (not his real name). Sadly there is no research about depression and suicide in men at this life stage (there’s little enough about women). Guest blog from ‘Paul’ – a man whose marriage ended because of his wife’s menopause.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |